I had to instruct an old person how to use an Android phone and it went a little like this:
"When the screen goes dark, you need to turn it back on by pressing this unmarked button on the right. Then, when the screen lights up with the clock, a background picture, and no other indication of what you should do, you need to place your finger on the screen and swipe upwards."
When did we decide that this was a good idea?? I might as well teach them how to use Vim at this point.